A Disillusioned American’s 4th of July Speech

By Clarke Rubel

We do not usually hear these sentiments in Independence Day addresses – but they are most likely the thoughts of a large number of Americans.

My Fellow Americans:

The way I see it, and the path I take when my students recite the lines from the scripts their parents plant in their peat-moss heads, is this:

Our Founding Fathers were wealthy, self-centered, white, wealth-preservationists bent on creating a system in which they could thrive. This country was founded on the same principles as most golf courses and country clubs, minus the handicapped access. Don’t get me wrong:  the FFs are great fodder for dogmatic incantations like ‘The Founding Fathers intended….’ They used the Magna Carta as their template to help ensure the appearance of propriety while establishing exactly the same thing they were retaliating against. Of course, you remember the Magna Carta, that historic document that mandated such things as a jury of peers, which essentially means that wealthy criminals judge wealthy criminals.

The FFs were educated, ambitious and wise; but they were also rebels who understood the gravity of what they were doing. On one hand, they had those red, polytheistic, animist savage natives to deal with: pesky Injuns! On the other hand, they had an angry, omnipresent, judgmental, dysfunctional  God, who really didn’t give a shit if they remained landed and upper class. On the other hand, they had the myriad peons and rabble to deal with who posed a special problem, given the fact that they were hungry, frustrated, cold, homesick, and therefore bitchy. On the other hand, they knew they needed the backs of this bitchy rabble to maintain their status.

The FFs were students of history.  They knew peasants revolt and they knew their Protestant roots. They also knew the value of education, and especially the value of the disparity between the opportunities open to educated and uneducated folk. They apparently preferred Machiavelli to Plato when it came to republics, a preference which no self-respecting racketeer would deny.  Hence, a they created a Constitutional paradigm that allows for rights of all men who are created equal. All men, of course, is defined as all white, landed, wealthy, misogynistic male contributors to the cause of the interests of such people as themselves, and equal is defined as peers of the defining inner-circle of all men.

 The Greeks figured out that democracy doesn’t work. I trust the Greeks, even when they bear gifts. I don’t trust our Founding Fathers. I do respect them a great deal, but I have no more reason to trust that they had my best interest in mind than I do to believe any elected official has anyone’s best interest at heart who isn’t in their shorts at the time.

Voting is a wonderful opiate. It gives the illusion that the average schmuck has a voice we don't. I take little consolation in the idea that my elected representatives have their fingers on my pulse somehow. There is too much disconnect between them and us. Even if I were filthy rich, we’d have little in common. The ethos that prompts a career in public office is off the charts in terms of psychotic episodes.  The illusion of choice in candidates, the illusion of voice, the illusion that any political party is anything but a fusion between the least desirable aspects of Human Nature, the mantras we hear chanted about the sanctity of democracy are all bullshit.

This is a great country, and when I was young and naíve I would have died for it. I’ve matured and realize now that a willingness to die for a country, any country, is a sport for the young and naíve. The beauty and the beast of America is that we are a country founded on discontent and revolution. Its a paradox to design a government that both limits and guarantees freedom to rebel. Ultimately, Human Nature will float to the top of any society, and that’s never a treat. We’ve already devolved into a culture more interested in selfies than any sort of substance and a small minority of these mindless, vacant, self-absorbed, mental-midget turds comprise the majority of the voting public. How can any democracy or even a republic survive in the wake of the light-speed ignorance technology has facilitated? That’s something the FFs hadn’t counted on. Yes, they counted on a degree of public ignorance for their political survival, but even they couldn’t foresee the epidemic of stupid we now face.